Expatify

Travel & Expat Lifestyle Magazine

Dealing with loneliness as an expat

Tavira

Just to say up front, this isn’t an advice-filled article by someone claiming to be an expert on how to deal with loneliness as an expat, but more a discussion of it that some people might relate to. Loneliness certainly isn’t unique to expats, or even to people who’ve left their original hometown, but it can be quite a large issue for those living abroad.

The topic was spurred by reading an interesting survey that discussed the challenges that expats living in the US face, and loneliness comes in second, right behind cost-of-living issues, at around 26% of respondents. One reason this seems at least a little surprising is that the US is known as the land of immigrants for a very good reason. The vast majority of people living there have grandparents or great grandparents who were born in other countries, from literally around the world.

Expat partners have a worse time of it

One explanation that the article put forth is that many people who move to the US (or anywhere else, for that matter) do so for a specific job. If they bring a partner then that person is almost certain to have a tougher time finding friends they can relate to. The one with the job usually has a group of co-workers, some or many of whom may also be from their home country, but the partner without a job likely has no one except for their partner.

When thinking about the expat communities in the United States in particular, I’d imagine that the people who come in large numbers for blue-collar jobs (most from Mexico and elsewhere in Latin America) probably have thriving communities from back home, but those who move from, say, Belgium or Indonesia, might have a tougher time of it. If they have moved to New York City or Washington DC or Los Angeles they might have some support nearby, but almost anywhere else and they might feel quite isolated.

The importance of a social circle

Having lived in many different places around the world, some for short times and others for longer, I now know how important it is to have some sort of social circle for overall happiness. It’s easy to daydream about moving to a remote island in the South Pacific, but if you don’t find a potential group of friends there then it’s not going to feel like paradise for long.

A while back I wrote about finding the expat community anywhere, and I think those tips might be of help to some people, but obviously not to everyone.

The article that inspired this seems to recommend trying to establish a social circle locally, even if they aren’t from the same part of the world you are. This sounds like good advice, though it might be challenging. Social isolation does seem to be the sort of thing that can compound on itself and just feel worse and worse, so trying to take concrete steps before things get too bad is the way to go.

Comments

3 thoughts on “Dealing with loneliness as an expat

  1. Everyone is different but I think that loneliness is a part of expat life that we all deal with in alternate ways.
    I definitely agree that paradise doesn’t look for paradise for long if you have nobody to share it with.

  2. I can totally agree with you being out of the U.S for over 16 YEARS myself now reaching year 17 by September but quite a while ago staying away for the first time for 1 year in Central America…I know the feeling but it really doesn’t bother me as it would others since I grew up in an immigrant Italian family and the language was spoken daily…Where I grew up everyone was exposed to the up and comming latin communities also and the folks entering the U.S. to farm or….Their children of my generation were allowed to attend public schools and so it became normal but for anyone else who has not had that type of exposure I’m sure I’d find the person in a very sad state of affairs especially if the individual was an out going type or family man who was transplanted in a particular country due to employment as many thousands are..I do believe however that on the net that there must be expat groups listed for the country one is staying in and or the local news papers may have some notices posted…One of the biggest issues and why people feel left out or alone is definately the language barrier and when you start to learn the native language then at that time the expat will start feeling better about not only Him/Herself but a feeling of belonging partially to the country will start to take affect…For me personally although the country I’m in I know is not my country of origin but over the years it has grown into feeling like everything is normal and that I belong and I am married to a national so that within itself makes matters easiar however not the case for everyone..I think that Expatify.com is an excellent forum of information for all expats and hope the readers are many so to share all the valuable feed back and experiences will make a big difference for those who are still in a fog about living in a foreign country…..end

  3. What LIV states above is very true even if you’ve grown accustom to your surroundings and the people…There is just no way of avoiding or getting arount it….There is no Utopia…..

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