It is true that some and not that many people who are struggling living abroad are bitter and negative but it is also easy to find many other happy expats in any location.

Advises of any kind, good or bad are always very subjective and you have to check for yourself what works for you in your particular situation. I like to gather as much information as possible before I move to a new country and expats have some information that locals are not aware of like working permit or international health insurance, retirement plans, tax management, etc.

@Michele: I mentioned kids or spouse or health problems because it is usually more complicated to live abroad with a family than being a healthy single or a young couple without kids. I started living in Japan as a student with my husband we were 20+ something and it was a wonderful experience and since then we always lived abroad so we evolve and our lifestyle changed so we got different needs as we are aging and having growing children and old parents.

So you might think it’s a cliche, but it’s a common situation that surprises many new expats so I think it’s worth mentioning rather than trying not to offend people because some might not like to hear about it.

I’m not sure you are even commenting on this post because I’ve written much more on this topic elsewhere. But obviously if you can find someone who loves their new home city and who knows their way around that is ideal. But I’m not the only one who struggles to find those people in many places. -Tom

So the only real expats are those with spouses, kids and health issues?

Rob, you make some great points. My Chiang Mai experience is unique in several ways, most notably because I only intended on staying for 3 months in the first place. In that case, I had to learn quickly or it would be too late, so the shorthand of other expats could have helped. In the longer run, I totally agree that many expats actually have a weirdly negative prism they are viewing the place with, so they are happy to spew terrible advice. And I agree that some people prefer to be victims even when they aren’t. Interesting look at things in Sihanoukville. -Tom

For example, here in Cambodia, although no one is going to come right out and say it, tattoos and dreadlocks are viewed with suspicion and sometimes fear. This often attracts negative experiences with the local people. A frequent complaint here in Sihanoukville is that the “corrupt” police pick on foreigners, targeting them for minor traffic infractions and letting Cambodians go. Recently, a man made this claim to me even though we were the only two foreigners amongst the 5 who had been pulled over for not wearing helmets.

That’s a minor example, but it extends to shopping, finding accommodations, doing business and day to day living as well. It’s not just a matter of learning from other expats, I think. It’s a matter of who you learn from as well as tuning in to local sensitivities.

Not sqiqqly writing.

Wouuld have been far more challenging. Really congratulate that you managed as great as you did. Thank you for sharing and the head’s up you did on behalf of others to learn.

I am glad you wrote this article, I read it all 🙂

Too often new expats are told they should try to avoid other expats to learn about the local culture. That is not realistic if you don’t speak the language at all.

That might eventually be a good advice for a short period of time when you are a young student who live abroad to learn a language. But if you plan to stay for more than a year, your spouse is not working or you have children, it is usually wise to connect with local expats to learn faster about the differences between your own culture and the local one by people who understand the way you think.

Regarding languages, yes you learn better in total immersion but you need a minimum survival level otherwise you are struggling so much with the basics that you get easily frustrated and even depressed so you cannot learn.

In most big cities in the world there are always expat support groups from your own country or the ones you speak the languages.

There are also so many expat forums and expat blogs on the internet that it is very easy to get accurate information about best neighborhoods that match your lifestyle and family situation.