How many regret their decision to become an expat?

Once again we have to begin this discussion by separating expats into groups of those who’ve changed countries out of fondness for the new country, and expats who’ve changed countries mostly for economic reasons. The following is still a valid discussion for the economic expats, but it’s really more of a question for those of us who’ve left in search of something more interesting abroad.

How often do expats wonder if they’ve made the right choice by leaving their home country? This question was asked in a recent article by a British student who could barely be considered an expat because she spends 5 months a year in the UK and 7 months a year studying in New York. Even so, I have a feeling she is far from alone when she wonders if she’s really better off with her choice.

On one hand, we know what we are missing

One of the most obviously pluses to being an expat is that we know both sides of the picture. I’m originally from Los Angeles and let’s imagine I had a twin brother who continued to live there. I know exactly what it’s like to live in Los Angeles, with all the traffic and crowds mixed with great weather, and I also know what it’s like to live in Serbia (where I am now). But my brother has no idea what it’s like to live anywhere else, so at least I know both choices and can make my future decision based on that information.

It’s probably more likely that the people who considered moving abroad but ended up staying home are the ones with more regrets. At least those of us who made the move usually have a chance to move back whenever we want, after knowing the real choice. Those who decided not to go will always wonder what it would have been like.

On the other hand, it’s easier to know about the good things we are missing

Few would argue that Facebook (and sites like it) have brought the world closer together by allowing us to know what our friends and loved ones are doing at any given time. One possible downside to this comes in the form of postings and photos from when your family and old friends are having a summer party or some other gathering you used to love.

For those of us who’ve only been in our new home for a year or less, we are still working to form a meaningful social life, and chances are that it will never rival what you have with your childhood friends and such. Who wouldn’t wonder if they have made the right choice when they see photos of people from home having a great time just like you used to, and the only thing missing is you?

Complications add up over time

Another side of this equation is that many things in life are just so much easier “back home.” Even if you’ve moved to a new place where they speak the same language, or you are fluent in the new language, there will be things that you’ll miss and will seem very complicated or frustrating in your new home.

In my own experience, the expats who’ve moved back home have done it either because of the death or illness of a loved one, or the fact that these little complications just took their toll over time and it didn’t seem worth it anymore.

How often do you consider moving home?

So really the interesting aspect to this whole topic is, as the article linked above asks, how many expats continue to wonder if they’ve made the right choice? Some expats (especially retired people) assume they’ll never move home again, but I think for most of us it’s a question we think about once in a while, and at some point the answer just might change.

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